Respect
by MaryRussellgrl
Summary: Grissom does not respect Sara. He leaves her and she has to make a new life without him. Will be come back? Will she accept him back?
1. Chapter 1

Grissom leaned over me on the ground as I laid still. Police lights flashed everywhere and Brass stood beside Grissom looking down concerned.

My scene was like any other except this time a person attacked me leaving me in the driveway as he drove off in the Tahoe.

Grissom touched my cheek calling my name calmly as he fought hard not to panic. Blood oozed out of the cut on my head. Brass looked over hearing a siren from the ambulance coming to a stop.

"I'll get them!" He said, running off.

Grissom watched him go then he looked down at me.

"Sara, wake up."

I moved my head trying to lift my hand to my head only to have him pull it back. I moaned in pain slowly opening my eyes seeing him.

"Sara, can you hear me?" He asked

"Sir, please move." The male paramedic ordered.

Grissom moved seeing two men with a stretcher moving in to help. Brass watched his friend stand back looking at me with deep concern. He always suspected something was going on between us and now he was sure.

I was taken to the ambulance and Grissom followed stopping at the doors looking in at me. Brass walked over touching his arm.

"Give me your keys and go with her." He said

Grissom looked at him a moment before giving him the keys then he rushed inside the vehicle. Brass watched the doors close and then he walked away.

As the man worked on me, Grissom watched me taking my limp hand praying that I was all right. He faintly heard the man saying my name over and over. On the fifth time I moved opening my eyes focusing on Grissom. He looked relieved to see me looking at him.

Sometime later I woke again seeing I was in a hospital room and my head felt like it was warped in a cotton ball. Grissom appeared from out of no where leaning over me touching my cheek.

"Sara, you're going to be all right. You just have a concussion." He said, gently.

I nodded even though I didn't understand him. He put his cheek against mine sighing. I closed my eyes as he moved pressing his lips onto my skin. I drifted as he continued to touch me. He moved back a moment later seeing I was asleep.

Standing back, he looked over seeing Catherine standing at the door. She slowly walked over looking at me then at him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She asked, gently.

Grissom moved away from my bed walking over to the corner of the room as Catherine followed.

"I don't think it's anyone's business." He said, in a quiet voice.

"You know how risky this is? Grissom, people lose their jobs over this!" She said

He looked at me as she sighed.

"I have loved her along time. I can't end it now."

She touched his arm.

"Gil, I won't say anything, but if Ecklie asks me…."

"I know," He said "when she is stronger I will bring up day shift again."

Grissom brought me home a few days later. I rolled over in bed seeing him sitting on the other side smiling faintly at me in his work clothes.

"What time is it?" I asked, sitting up.

"About three. I have to go in for a meeting, but I wanted to talk to you first."

"Okay." I said

He looked down taking my hand before looking at me.

"Sara, I know we talked about this, but I think we need to discuss it again."

"Day shift?" I said

"Yes, I think it would be a good idea for one of us to go."

"Meaning me?" I asked

"Honey, I meant one of us. You know the day shift supervisor position is open. I could move so that you could stay."

"You love night shift."

"I do, but I love you and I don't want to destroy our careers."

"Why can't we continue what we are doing now?"

"Catherine knows and I know it's only a matter of time."

I sighed looking down.

"We need to decide now." He said

"This is so stupid!" I said, holding my head with my hands.

He waited silently as I thought about it.

"I'll go." I said, lifting my head looking into his eyes.

"You don't have to."

"I want to." I said

He nodded watching me lay back against the head board looking sad and pale. He got up leaving the room. I looked down at my hands as the front door closed.

He came back late smelling food. I came out of the kitchen wearing pajamas watching him walk over kissing me. He held me in place then moved back.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better." I said

He nodded letting me go to walk into the living room. I followed slowly as he went to his desk then went to the couch sitting down rubbing his head. He opened his eyes looking at me standing in front of him.

"Busy shift?"

"Greg contaminated evidence and Nick had a fight with Hodges."

"Headache?" I asked, sitting beside him.

"The start of one." He said, closing his eyes laying his head back against the couch cushion.

I watched him before reaching over taking his hand in mine going over each one with my finger. He didn't open his eyes as I lifted it up kissing the skin of his hand in places.

"What is really bothering you?" I asked

He opened his eyes searching mine.

"It's not just what happened on shift."

"No, it isn't." He said "Sara, I talked to Ecklie about going on a year long hiatus."

"What?"

"I want to do some lecturing."

"Your leaving and you didn't tell me until now?!" I said, standing.

"I am telling you now." He said

"Wow, so you are going? Great! I'll just stay here while you go and lecture!" I said, before walking to the bedroom slamming the door. I went to the bathroom shutting and locking the door. Putting my head in my hands I felt angry tears starting to come out.

He never knocked on the door as I sat there for an hour thinking about this new situation. When I came out he was sitting on the bed looking over at me. I walked past him to the living room hearing him walking behind me.

Going to the kitchen I got some water not facing him as I stood at the counter. He waited as I swallowed before speaking to me.

"What can I do?" He asked

I set the glass down staring at it.

"Nothing."

"Sara, I did mean to tell you….I just didn't know how to bring it up."

I nodded turning around looking at him.

"I feel like we are right back to that hamburger."

He looked at me confused.

"What hamburger?"

"You didn't respect me then and you don't now."

"Sara, I do respect you."

"No you don't. Otherwise you would have told me sooner."

He looked at my red eyes then down.

"We are back there again and I think you need to think about our relationship, because it's important to me."

He just stared at me then he watched me walk past to bedroom. I came out with a bag and he watched me go to the front door.

"Sara, don't leave."

I looked at him with tears going down my cheeks.

"We can talk when you come back."

With that, I walked out leaving him alone.

He left a week later and I had never felt so alone. The sadness I felt inside was almost to much to handle until Nick took me out for drinks. He drove me back to the apartment I was renting. He turned off the engine looking over at me sleeping against the passenger side window. He reached over touching my arm watching me move then still. He got out coming to my side opening the door catching me as I fell out. I woke feeling him standing me up leaning against the car.

"You okay?" He asked

"I…may throw up." I said

"Well hold on till we get you inside." He said, putting my arm over his shoulder.

I put my hand over my mouth as he walked us up the stairs to my place. Turning the light on, he led me to the bedroom laying me down. I rolled over lying still.

"Hey, are you going to be okay?" He asked, shaking my arm.

I didn't even move as he shook me again. He sighed looking at me trying to decide what to do.

Waking up the hours later was tough. I sat up with a severe headache. I slowly got up clutching the walls as I went to the living room. Smelling coffee, I went to the kitchen seeing Nick making breakfast as he whistled. He turned seeing me.

"Hey, sleepyhead."

"Not so loud!" I said, clutching my head.

"Glad to see you're awake." He said, quieter.

He poured me some coffee handing it to me. I drank it winching at the taste.

"You really put it away." He said

I walked out sitting into the living room. He followed seeing that my answering machine was blinking.

"You have messages." He said

"I know." I said

I looked down as he looked at me knowing it was something I didn't want to face. He watched me get up and go to the bedroom shutting the door. Nick looked at the door then he looked at the machine. I called off work still feeling sick.

The next day I got up and began to work. We had a case that meant nonstop work and no sleep. Since it was a priority, we worked very hard. I saw people around me start to crumble, but I pressed on not caring what would happen. Catherine walked over as I leaned against a guard rail looking at the devastation around me.

"You okay?" She asked, touching my shoulder.

"Yeah, I just wanted to rest a minute." I said, sighing.

She took note at how tired I looked.

"Maybe you should rest."

I looked at her shaking my head.

"Sara."

"I'm okay."

I walked away knowing she was watching me. Her phone went off and she put it to her ear without looking to see who it was.

"You said you would call an hour ago." She said, looking around.

"Sorry, I got held up. How is everything?" Grissom asked, on the other end.

"Great. Everyone is exhausted and miserable. Oh, and it has started to rain."

He chuckled into the phone as he sat on the bed in his hotel room looking over notes.

"Sounds like fun."

"Gil, for you it is fun."

He chuckled again before sighing.

"How is Sara?"

"Sara is Sara."

"That bad?"

"I don't know how she is. She hasn't slept or eaten for days. It's like she's giving up."

"You are going to have to make her." He said

"She won't listen to you. How am I going to make her listen to me?!"

"Catherine, I can't be there. You are there!"

She sighed looking over seeing me going back to work.

"Take care of her." He said

"I'll try."

She hung up looking at me.

The scene was cleaned of evidence after a few more hours. Everyone packed up and left. Catherine offered the drive me home, but I went with Greg. When I opened my door I started to cry. Wiping my eyes, I went to the couch falling onto it.

Later I moved when my cell phone went off. Moving, I grabbed it from my jeans putting it to my ear.

"Sidle." I said, muffled.

"Hello."

I sat up looking around in stunned silence.

"Sara?" Grissom said

"What do you want?" I asked

"I wanted to call and see how you are."

I put my hand in my hair.

"I…I'm fine." I said, feeling my body shake.

"Good." He said, sounding unsure.

I stood walking into the bedroom.

"Grissom…I have to go to work."

"Okay, I just wanted to check up on you."

"Bye." I said, before hanging up. He said goodbye, but I hung up holding the phone in my hands.

I went to work later feeling low and heavy. I talked to no one and once went into the bathroom to cry. After work everyone went to a diner down the street, but I went to a bar. As I sat on a stool Catherine came in sitting beside me. She looked at me as I looked at the bottle on the counter in front of me.

"I knew you were here." She said

"So why did you come?"

"Because I care and because I don't want to see you start this again."

I nodded taking a drink from my bottle.

"Sara, I understand you are having a difficult time right now."

I looked at her.

"What, you are a counselor now?"

"I am your friend."

I made a sound looking ahead. She sighed looking down.

"Look, you are a great CSI. Don't let pain control your life."

I looked at her then I looked down. I came home tired and a little drunk. I laid in bed thinking about what Catherine said knowing she was right.

The next week I straightened up and went on cases. Grissom was in my past and I made myself stop thinking about him.

Greg breezed into the breakroom one day smiling with excitement. I stared at him as he got some coffee then he faced me.

"You got to be excited right?" He asked, blowing on the coffee in his cup.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, confused.

"Grissom….he's coming back!"

I looked at him shock. His smiled vanished as he looked at me.

"You didn't know?"

"No, I did not know!" I said, throwing my cup in the trash before walking out. I went into the locker room unable to stop the pounding in my chest. I sat down on a bench touching my chest closing my eyes.

The next week I came to work looking over seeing his office door opened. Slowly, I walked over peeking inside seeing him talking to Catherine sitting behind his desk. He glanced over as I moved against the wall trying to breathe.

Warrick and I were working in the garage on a bus. Grissom walked in seeing Warrick who walked over smiling shaking his hand.

"It's good to see you." Warrick said

"Thanks, you to." Grissom said, looking around the room. "Have you seen, Sara?"

"I think she is still in the bus."

I froze knowing he was going to find me. Quickly, I hid behind the last seat holding my breath hearing him climb up walking down the aisle slowly.

"Sara?" He called

I closed my eyes trying to be calm. He stopped looking around then walked back. I heard him step down the stairs. Waiting a minute, I slowly moved peeking out in the aisle. I stood up slowly walking to the front when I froze. There standing on the last step was Grissom's giving me a curious look.

"Hiding?" He asked

"No." I said

He nodded looking me up and down. I avoided his stare climbing down trying to get past him. He would not move.

"Can I get by?"

"In a minute." He said

I sighed taking my gloves off then I leaned to the side.

"Sara, I wanted to ask you if we could go somewhere and talk."

"No."

"Why not?" He asked, searching my eyes.

"Because I am over you."

"I don't think you are. I know I am not over you."

"Stop it!" I said

"What?"

"You're trying to find something that isn't there." I said, pushing past him. I walked past Warrick leaving the room.

Grissom walked over stopping watching me walk away. Warrick watched him sigh then walk out the same direction. I came back a few minutes later in silence. Warrick walked over to where I stood looking down as I put on my gloves.

"You okay?" He asked, putting his hand on my shoulder.

I nodded not looking at him. He rubbed my arm then walked away. Grissom came out of his office locking his door when he noticed me looking at him standing alone in the hallway. He turned facing me. We never moved as he and I looked at each other.

I blinked putting my hands in my pants pockets turning to go to the front door. Grissom slowly followed watching me walk to my car.

"Sara?" He called

I stopped turning to look at him.

"You okay?" He asked

I nodded. He walked over looking at me in concern.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know." I said, shaking my head looking up at the stars. "Something is wrong."

"Want to talk about it?"

"I can't." I said "Not with you."

He stepped closer searching my red eyes. I swiped a tear from my face looking down.

"Sara, I want to help you."

I sniffed looking at him. His eyes were so blue and I fell in love all over again.

"Will…you take me somewhere?"

"Yes, if you want."

I nodded letting his hand touch my lower back leading me to his car. He took me back to what was our home. I went inside looking around the neat house missing it. He led me into the living room guiding me to the couch. I sat down resting against it as he sat beside me.

"Why don't you start?" He asked

I closed my eyes laying my head back.

"I'm really tired, can we talk later?"

He nodded looking at me. I closed my eyes again sighing. I felt him move then his arm pulling me towards him. Opening my eyes, I could hear his heart beat in chest. He smoothed my hair back with his fingers. I shuddered realizing I missed his touch.

Closing my eyes, I let his touch and his heart beat soothe me to sleep.

"We can figure that out later." Grissom said, as he walked into the living room holding his cell phone to his ear.

He looked over at me still sleeping stretched out on the couch.

"I'll be there in an hour and a half." He said, looking at his wrist watch.

He put his phone away looking at me, then he walked over sitting down touching my head with the back of his hand. I jumped moving looking around then at him.

"What time is it?" I asked, half asleep.

"About two." He said

I sat up touching my hair noticing his small smile.

"What?"

"Nothing, you just look beautiful." He said

I shook my head moving my legs to stand.

"Do you want to talk now?"

"No, can you take me home?" I asked, walking to the bathroom in the hallway.

"Yes." He said, standing.

I flushed the toilet washing my hands. Grissom waited outside. I came out looking at him in his work clothes.

"I can make you something to eat."

"I have food at home."

"Sara, your raising you defenses and you don't have to do that."

I sighed looking at him.

"Look, while you were gone I learned to live again without you." I said "I just don't think we can go back."

"Okay, I understand, but that does not mean that we can't be friends."

"Friendship leads to being more than friends, Grissom."

"Sara…I."

"Just…take me home." I said, walking past him to the front door.

The ride home was in awkward silence. He waited as I went to my place getting ready for work. I came back and we went to the lab.

As shift went on and on I had forgotten to eat. My stomach started to hurt so I took a pill and continued to work again. I knew if I got some food it would not appeal to me since I was thinking about Grissom.

I walked over to see Catherine as she stood in the hallway talking to Hodges. When he left she turned looking at me.

"I have the results." I said, handing her the paper as I held my stomach with my other hand.

She looked over the paper carefully. She handed it back to me noticing my hand.

"Stomach bothering you?"

"Yeah."

"Why don't you take a break and eat?"

"It will pass soon." I said

"Good job with the print."

"Thanks." I said, turning to see Grissom walking over with a lab worker. I froze as he didn't look over still talking to the man.

It was then that I felt vile rising from my throat. Catherine jumped back as I threw up on the floor. Grissom and the lab worker stood staring in surprise. I felt terrible and embarrassed. The vile came back and I threw up again. The brown liquid landed all over the floor and wall.

I stood up covering my mouth looking at everyone. Quickly, I ran down the hall to the locker room. Grissom ran after me finding me hunched over a sink in a corner throwing up again. I spit into the sink before turning on the water cupping my hand to drink some. I turned it off leaning on it for support then I stood looking at my pale complexion in the mirror.

"Are you okay?" Grissom asked, walking over.

I looked over at him letting go of the sink.

"I'm fine." I said, touching my stomach again.

He walked over touching my head and cheeks.

"You're clammy."

"Don't…" I said, swatting his hand.

"Why don't you sit down?" He asked, touching my arm.

I swatted him again stepping slowly past him. I sat down slowly hunched over. Grissom knelt down in front of me touching my cold hands.

"Honey, your hands are shaking."

As he said this I let out a loud sob feeling my whole body shake. I felt him pull me against him.

"You are a mess." He said

I nodded against his shoulder crying.

He moved back touching my cheeks looking at me.

"Do you feel well enough to go to my office?"

I wiped my eyes.

"I…..have…to…work."

"No, not now. You need to relax." He said, standing pulling me up.

People watched Grissom and I walk down the hallway slowly to his office. He opened the door allowing me inside. I sat on his couch as he turned off some of the lights then he pulled me to lie down lifting my legs. I watched him with heavy eyes as he moved the pillow under my head laying a blanket over me.

He watched me lay still breathing slowly with concern. As shift ended he did some paperwork allowing me to sleep. As he signed his name to a paper I moved causing him to look over. Moving my head to the side I stilled again. Grissom put his paper back on his finished pile then he stood stretching looking at his watch.

He walked over to the couch turning on the lamp beside it. I winched moving my head as he touched my cheek. I opened my eyes slowly then I closed them again.

"You've been asleep a while." He said, gently.

Opening my eyes I looked at him.

"How do you feel?"

"Tired."

"Hungry?"

"No."

I stretched closing my eyes again. Grissom let his hand go down my cheek. He leaned over looking at my lips then he kissed me. It was a gentle kiss. He moved back as I opened my eyes looking at him.

"Sara, I am sorry for what I did. I hurt you and I should have treated you better."

"Are you really sorry?"

"Yes, I am."

"Okay." I said

He smiled faintly.

"I would love for you to come back home."

I moved my head looking up at the ceiling.

"No, things have changed. I'll be your friend, but that's all." I said, looking at him.

"I love you." He said

"Someday, I might say that again, but right now I can only be your friend."

He looked down then he sighed nodding.

A week later Grissom walked down the hallway seeing Nick and I coming down the hallway caked in a black substance from head to toe. He sniffed the air as we passed.

"You guys smell like sewage." He said

"I'm going to go shower." I said, not waiting on Nick to respond.

Grissom watched me go before looking at Nick.

"That's where we were. A body was found by some workers in a sewage pipe." He said

Grissom nodded as Nick looked down at himself then he waved at Grissom walking away. Grissom shook his head walking on.

After a shower with soap and some lemon I felt like myself again. I walked over to Grissom's office knocking. He looked up from the book he was reading.

"You showered." He said

"Yeah." I said

"Going home?" He asked, as he stood.

"In a minute. I wanted to ask you something."

"Okay." He said, coming closer.

"Do I still smell?"

He smiled a little coming closer breathing in.

"I smell soap, lemon, and a faint trace of sewage."

I sighed miserable.

"It will wear off….eventually."

"Great, you're a big help." I said

He chuckled watching me walk to the door.

"Sara."

I turned looking at him.

"You smell wonderful."

I stared at him longer than I should have.

"I'll see you next shift."

He nodded watching me leave.

Driving home, I kept thinking about the way he looked at me in his office. I was dying to have his arms around me again, but I promised myself I would not surrender.

Later I sat up in bed drenched in sweat shaking from the terrible nightmare I had. It was raining outside. I looked over at the empty space next to me wishing Grissom was there. Getting up, I dressed and grabbed my keys.

Grissom rolled over in his bed sleeping. His doorbell went off causing him to sit up looking around dazed. The doorbell went off again and he got up yawning making his way to the door. He opened it seeing me drenched in water shaking.

"Sara?" He said, taking in my state.

"Can…I come in?"

With a concerned look on his face, he moved letting me in. I looked around as I walked in hearing the front door close. He didn't speak as he went past me getting a large towel from the hallway bathroom. I closed my eyes as he wrapped it around me pulling me to the bathroom.

"You better get those clothes off and I'll get you something to wear." He said, before leaving.

I watched the door clothes then I started to undress. When I came out of the shower I saw he had laid some of his pajama pants and a black tee shirt on the toilet. I came out looking at the loose clothes I had on. Grissom walked into the living room holding two steaming cups of tea.

"I'm sorry I woke you." I said

"That's okay, come have a seat." He said, walking to the couch sitting down putting the cups on the coffee table. I sat down putting my feet under me taking the cup he offered. I took a sip tasting honey.

"This is good." I said, drinking some more.

He nodded drinking some. I put my cup back on the table sitting back as he held his looking at me.

"You don't believe in decorating, do you?" I asked

"Well, I think less is better."

I looked down at my shaking hands. Grissom looked at them then he looked at me.

"I had a nightmare." I said

"What was it about?"

"I was….with you and….then some man came. He stabbed you." I said, looking at him.

"Then what?" He asked

"You died."

He nodded looking down.

"How long have you been having bad nights?"

"Since you left." I said "It just seems when you are not around I have them."

He sipped his tea.

"What does that say about me?"

"Sara, it doesn't say anything."

"It says something! It says that I am unstable and dependent on you!"

"You need to calm down." He said, grabbing my shaking hand. "I have told you before to go talk to someone about this."

I looked at his hand over mine then I stood up backing away from the couch.

"What's wrong?" He asked

"This was a mistake. I should not have come here."

He stood walking over to me grabbing my arm.

"Sara, I am glad you came."

I slowly shook my head feeling him pull me against him rubbing my back. I gasped feeling his warmth. Closing my eyes I smoothed my cheek against his shoulder.

"Honey, I want to take care of you."

I allowed him to lead me into the dark bedroom then put me into the bed. He slid in beside me spooning his body against mine. I went to sleep within seconds. Grissom was beside me when I woke up. I stretched looking over at his sleeping body. He laid on his back with his hand resting on his stomach.

My heart was thumping in my chest as I looked him over. I missed him so much. Slowly I reached over touching his arm feeling the smooth skin. He never moved allowing me to go further. With my finger I went up his arm to his hand. It was then he moved his head to the side. I closed my eyes pulling my hand back as he moved. He gently cleared his throat stilling. I opened my eyes again seeing he still was asleep. Moving over, I looked at his face.

"You're awake?" He asked, not opening his eyes.

"I thought you were asleep!" I said, sitting up.

"I was an hour ago." He said, opening his eyes looking at me.

I smiled as he smiled a little.

"So, how do you feel now?"

"Better." I said

"Do you want breakfast?"

"I better go home." I said, looking over at his clock on the nightstand beside him.

He moved putting his hand underneath his head.

"I make a mean cheese omelet."

I smiled shaking my head.

"That's okay."

His other hand touched my arm rubbing it gently.

"It's nice to wake up beside you again."

"Yeah." I said

I swallowed feeling my heartbeat race. Grissom slowly sat up touching my cheek with his hand. I was lost in his touch watching him search my eyes before leaning in kissing me. It was a slow, gentle kiss. I moved back looking at him. He looked at me with that look that made me melt.

"Sara." He said, quietly.

"I….should go." I said, getting out the bed running to the living room getting my dry things changing. I ran out of the bathroom bumping into Grissom causing me to almost fall back. He caught me pulling me upright.

"You okay?" He asked

"Um…yeah, I should go." I said, going to the front door quickly.

"Honey, you don't ha…" He said, or started to before I shut the door.

I ran to my car breathing hard then I sat behind the wheel just staring. At work I avoided him completely. He tried to catch me in the hallway, but I just walked past him quickly.

The rain season started leaving parts of Las Vegas flooded. Catherine and I drove to a scene talking about work and life when she stopped seeing something ahead.

"What's wrong?" I asked

"I don't know." She said, driving forwards a little. A woman ran to the car hysterical.

"Help! Please!"

Catherine and I got out running with her to a flooded stream seeing a car on a small bridge with half of the car in the water.

"My husband is trapped inside!" The woman cried

"We will get him out!" Catherine said

She radioed for help as I ran with the woman to the car. Her husband was hanging out the passenger side window as water was rushing in around him. He yelled, but was drowned out by the water. I saw a way to get him out. Catherine ran over with some rope.

"They said it might be awhile because of the water." She said

"Tie the rope around me. I can get him out!" I said

The man cried out again causing the woman to cry. Catherine stood looking at the man then at me unsure, then she started to tie the rope around me.

"Are you sure about this?" She asked

"No, but we have to do something." I said

She nodded as I walked over slowly climbing onto the unstable car. The husband was on the verge of panic as he desperately tried to grab my arm. I slid over the slick roof feeling the car slump into the water almost submerging the man. He coughed hauling himself up onto the roof towards me.

"Climb over me and hang onto the rope!" I yelled

He grabbed my arm pulling himself over me. I winched as he moved. Catherine held the rope as she looked back at the Tahoe where the rope was tied.

The man looked at the bridge and where his wife was. He stood with difficulty launching himself to the ground. His wife ran to him as he rolled stopping looking back at the car in disbelief. Catherine ran over talking to the man. I slowly climbed over when the car slid in more and the window that I stood on broke. I screamed falling into the car from the driver's side submerged. Catherine ran over screaming my name. She grabbed the rope pulling on it. I came up coughing trying to pull myself out. As I tried to get out I felt the rope loosen out of the knot and leave me. I tried to grab it, but it was to late. The car moved again as I desperately tried to get out. Catherine ran over the bridge as did the man and woman. To everyone's horror the car tipped off the bridge and fell fully into the stream. I jumped out but was to late to take the man's outstretched arm.

As I went under I hit my head on something hard causing my head to explode. My body drifted in the water. Then it seemed as if something was pulling be and I was lifted. I could hear voices calling my name. My mouth was pulled open then air was thrust into me.

Catherine pushed on my chest counting as I laid on the ground. The husband and wife stood back watching with worry.

She breathed into my mouth again trying to not look at the gaping cut and black bruise on my head. I coughed moving my head as water came out of my mouth. Catherine pulled me to lie on my side.

I coughed more as Catherine laid me back turning on her little flashlight shining it in my eyes.

"Stop!" I said, swatting it.

"Let me look!" She said

I winched as she studied my eyes then she turned it off looking over at the couple.

"She needs a hospital! You two come with me."

I moaned feeling two people getting me up. Catherine put me into the passenger side seat and the couple got into the back.

She sped through the streets relieved to see the hospital up ahead. I laid back slumped to the side unaware of anything.

The next time I woke my head felt numb and I knew I was at the hospital. Slowly, my eyes opened seeing rain outside. Grissom opened the door to the room looking over at me. I blinked slowly as he walked over taking my hand in his.

"Hey." He said

"You…look different." I said

He smiled touching my pale cheek.

"You have a bad concussion. The doctors want to keep you here for a few days."

I nodded closing my eyes. He sighed leaning over kissing my head. Later he read beside the bed in the dimly lit room. As he flipped a page I moved causing him to take notice.

"Grissuuum." I said, my voice slurred from the drugs.

"You okay?" He asked

"Yeeeeeaaaah." I said, looking glassy eyed. He watched me move around looking at the far wall. He put the book down climbing onto the bed sitting down rubbing my arm.

"They are going to ease you off the drugs."

I continued to stare at the wall. A knock at the door brought Grissom out of his trance. Catherine came in looking at me as she walked over.

"What did the doctor's say?" She asked

"They said she has a severe concussion and she might have memory loss."

She sighed looking at me.

"Cath, you saved her life."

"I just…keep thinking that we almost lost her."

She came closer to the bed.

"Sara, how are you feeling?"

I blinked looking at her.

"Who are you?" I asked

"Catherine."

"They put her on some meds." Grissom said

"Who are you?" I asked

"When you get better I will tell you." She said, smiling.

Grissom watched Catherine leave then he looked at me as I slept again.

A few days later Grissom had brought me back to his house to rest. He came into the bedroom seeing me sitting up in bed holding the TV remote flipping through channels.

"You look better." He said

I put the remote down smiling as he sat on the bed.

"My head hurts a little, but I am feeling better." I said "What have you been doing?"

"I just talked to Brass. He said that you are a hero at work." He said

"I was doing what any other person would do." I said, shrugging my shoulders.

He looked at the show playing then he looked at me.

"Sara, I love you. I want you to know that."

I looked at him.

"It's been a hard lesson to learn, but I know I can change."

"I don't want you to change. I just want you to respect me."

"I do, honey."

He touched my cheek. I gently pulled him towards me kissing him. He let me lead. I slid my fingers into his hair. He put his hand on my shoulder. I let him move back. He searched my eyes before sitting back.

"What do we do now?" I asked

He took my hand.

"Marry me?"


	2. Chapter 2

Grissom smiled at me a few weeks later in his office. I sat in a chair smiling back enjoying the moment to be with him. He had proposed and of course I said yes. Now we were smiling like idiots and making everyone else sick.

"So are you coming home on time?" I asked, standing.

"Depends." He said, leaning back against his desk.

I smiled again slowly walking up to him.

"Depends on what?"

"Paperwork."

My smile turned into a frown causing him to chuckle. He pulled me close to him so he could put his arms around me.

"I am just kidding. I will be home and perhaps we can take a bath." He said

"I like how you think." I said, before kissing him.

A clearing of a throat caused us to jump back seeing Catherine smiling standing at the door.

"Am I interrupting?"

"I better go." I said, walking past her as she walked over.

Catherine watched Grissom's eyes follow me out then focus on her.

"I have the reports for you to look at." She said

He took them glancing at her before looking them over.

"Something you want to say to me?" He asked

"I just wanted to say you look happy."

"I am." He said

She touched his arm before leaving.

Grissom was locking his office when his cell phone went off. He sighed picking it up. I woke on the couch hearing my phone going off.

"Sidle." I said, as I rubbed my face.

"Hey." Grissom said

I sat up awake.

"Where are you?"

"I have to go to a scene."

I laid back down as he sighed.

"Becareful."

"Okay." He said, before hanging up.

I laid still thinking about him. Since I could not sleep anymore I made coffee watching TV waiting for him to return. It was hours before I heard the front door open. I stood walking over seeing how tired he was. He looked at me as I hugged him.

"I'm fine." He said

"Good." I said, against his shoulder.

I let him go and he yawned walking into the bedroom. He undressed laying down watching me climb over him to the other side. I laid beside him watching him sleep.

The next afternoon he was up and dressed for work. I walked over as he ate some toast with jelly on it at the kitchen counter. He smiled as I kissed his head then got some coffee.

"I was thinking that we should set a date." He said

"I told you I don't want a big wedding. I just want you." I said

"Yes, but we should invite friends."

"No, just us."

Grissom watched me sip the coffee from my cup as I looked at him.

"I am not a wedding person, Gris."

"Okay, just us."

Nodding, I went out leaving him. We went to work and it was just a normal shift. Grissom was working at his desk when he heard a muffled boom. The lights flickered in the hallway causing him to go out looking around. The smell of smoke becoming heavy in the air. An alarm started as the sprinklers went off.

"Everyone out!" He yelled, watching people start to evacuate. Getting out his phone he dialed 911.

I laid on the garage floor feeling the sprinklers go off. Nick ran over pulling me up coughing as the smoke in the next room was thick.

"You okay?" He asked

I nodded winching as I hit the wall sliding down. Nick knelt down beside me looking out at people going past.

"We should go." He said

I looked down as he did seeing blood coming out of my stomach. I touched it winching feeling the tip of some glass inside.

"That looks bad!" He said

I nodded taking hold of the glass and closing my eyes ripping it out. Nick watched me in surprise as I breathed in and out fast dropping the bloody piece of glass on the floor.

"Okay….I'm ready."

He nodded helping me up. I held onto the spot where I was bleeding and walked out. Nick and I followed a crowd down the hallway feeling the water soaking our clothes.

"There's Grissom!" Nick said

I looked over as he instructed everyone to get out.

"Grissom!" Nick called

Grissom looked over quickly walking over to my other side.

"What's happened?!" He asked

"Glass!" I said

He pulled me out with Nick's help. Outside was complete chaos. People were walking around in the way as emergency personnel took over. Nick and Grissom walked me over to an arriving ambulance watching two men open the back.

"Get in." Grissom said

Nick helped me inside and I sat on the gurney. Grissom got a call and left as Nick stood outside peeking in as the two men checked me.

"You're going to have to go to the hospital." One of the said

"Can't you guys just stitch it here?" I asked

"You need checked out."

I made a sound as Grissom appeared as the other man got out. He sat down taking my hand.

"Sara, I have to stay here for a while, but I'll come to the hospital when I can." He said

"I know." I said

"Are you okay?"

I nodded even though I was in pain. He leaned over kissing my head then he got out closing the doors. I sighed laying back wishing he could come.

At the emergency room I was taken to a corner and a curtain was put around me. I heard people screaming nearby as doctors and nurses worked. The came into to me accessing the situation and then a nurse gave me some pain medication stitching my stomach. I laid there a while then a few hours later a nurse came through telling me that Grissom was there. She helped me to stand then walk out to where Grissom was near the front desk.

"You okay?" He asked, watching me walk slowly.

"Yeah, I need the pain medication they prescribed." I said, winching handing him the paper.

"You got it." He said

"They said it would make me tired." I said

"It usually does." He said, walking me out the door. He helped me inside the car then we drove to the store to get my pills. He came back with water and the pills. I took one as he drove.

He parked then he went to my side helping me out.

"Easy." He said, as I slid out putting my arms around his neck.

"I..feel nifty." I said, as my words slurred.

"I can tell." He said

I giggled putting my head against his shoulder.

"Honey, we need to go to the house so you can lie down." He said

"Kay." I said, allowing him to help me.

Once inside, he walked me into bedroom and I laid down. The next day he sat on the bed watching me sleep. His finger touched my cheek smoothing the soft skin. I moved my head as he smiled doing it again.

"Mmm." I moaned, annoyed.

"Sara?" He said

"Hmm?" I answered, with my eyes closed.

"I made coffee."

"No."

"How about some food?"

He took a breath as I shook my head.

"You need to eat something."

"No."

He watched me lay still.

"Are you just going to sleep here?"

I nodded.

"All right, I'll call you later." He said

He got up, but I grabbed his hand. Slowly opening my eyes I looked at his blurry outline.

"Don't go." I said

"I have to go in for a meeting."

He leaned over kissing my head then walked out. I listened as the front door closed then I closed my eyes again.

Later his meeting and the walk through of the damaged part of the building ended. He walked down the hallway trying to phone me.

The phone rang on the bed beside me as I slept. Grissom tried again then he walked to his office.

I was still sleeping when he came home. He ordered take out then walked into the bedroom seeing I was lying on my back on his side.

He gently kissed my lips causing me to jump. I opened my eyes seeing him.

"Sorry." He said

"Did you forget something?" I asked

"I just got home." He said "That answers my next question."

I sighed blinking as he turned on the lamp next to me. He touched my head then my cheeks.

"Do I have a fever?" I asked

"No, I was just checking. I ordered take out so come out and eat." He said, standing.

"I need a bath." I said, slowly sitting up.

"Do you need help?" He asked

"Maybe." I said

He helped me up. We walked to the bathroom and he helped me to undress. We ate in the living room. I laid my plate on the coffee table winching.

"Honey, why don't you take your pills?" He asked

"I hate how I feel with them." I said

"Please Sara." He said

I sighed getting up walking to the bedroom. When I came back out walking over to him with the pill in my hand.

"Pill." I said, showing him. Taking his glass of water I took it then set the glass down. "There."

"Open your mouth." He said

I sighed sitting down over his lap opening my mouth showing him.

"Good." He said

"They make me so tired." I said

"You're healing." He said

"I'd rather be with you."

"I know." He said, kissing my neck gently. "I would rather be with you, but you need to get better."

I touched his cheek leaning over kissing him. He gently put his hand on my waist moving his lips over mine. He moved back touching my cheek.

"Sara, I love you."

"I love you to."

"When this is over I want to get married."

I nodded before laying my head on his chest.

I healed enough to work again and Grissom felt it was time to bring up marriage. On Saturday after I started work he took me to the court house from an informal wedding. We started to climb the stairs and I stopped looking at the building. Grissom, in his blue suit stopped looking back at me.

"Sara, what's wrong?"

"I…I don't know if I can do this." I said

"There's nothing to be scared of." He said, coming down to hold my shaking hands.

"Grissom, do we really love each other?"

"Yes, we do." He said

"No, I mean really love each other? Can you see yourself growing old with me? Seeing me every day and night?"

"Sara, I love you. I want to grow old with you."

I searched his eyes.

"What about kids? I don't want any."

"That's okay."

"What if…I kill you?"

He smiled squeezing my hands.

"You will not kill me."

I looked at the building then at him again.

"What if we find out we were not right for each other?"

"I am committed to you. There is no one else I want." He said

I nodded feeling my heartbeat start to calm down. He stepped down to my step touching my face with his hands.

"I will always love you. From the first day we met to today I know you are the right one for me. Do you feel that?"

I slowly nodded.

"Then let's get married and all those fears and doubts will go away."

"You really think it will fade away?"

"Yes, I do."

He watched me reach in for my strength inside then I nodded allowing him to take my hand leading me inside.

The next week I walked up behind my husband as he stood looking at a report in the hallway. Hodges stood beside him glancing back at me before looking at Grissom.

"Test it again and let me know." Grissom said, handing him back the paper. Hodges nodded scurrying away.

"Hey!" I said, causing him to jump.

He turned around seeing the big smile on my face.

"That is a big smile on your face." He said

"I know, it's hurting my face, but I can't help it."

He chuckled leading me to his office. I went in as he followed closing the door behind him.

"Is this your break?" He asked

"Yes." I said, coming closer.

"You should be eating that sandwich I made you."

"I would rather see you." I said, before kissing him.

His arms lightly touched my sides as I put my arms around his neck. He moved back looking at me.

"Honey, I want you to eat something. I can feel your ribs again."

I sighed looking into his eyes.

"You worry to much."

"You don't worry enough. Seriously, I want you to go eat."

I let him go feeling him pushing me to the door.

"I will see you after shift." He said

"Fine." I said, turning the door handle.

Grissom touched my hand causing me to look at him.

"Sara, I didn't mean to push you away. I just worry that you're not taking care of yourself."

"I know."

He touched my cheek.

"Are we okay?"

"Yeah." I said, giving him a small smile before leaving. I went to the breakroom getting the bag that Grissom packed for me. Taking out the sandwich I looked at it as Greg came in.

"Eating that?" He asked

"You want it?"

He walked over looking at it.

"Sure."

"Grissom made it."

He looked at me then the sandwich.

"If he made it, then no!"

"It's just egg salad."

He slowly took it lifting the bag up so he could look closely at it.

"Are you afraid that he put bugs inside?" I asked, smiling.

"Well it is Grissom."

I chuckled taking out the red apple out of the bag. He sat down at the table unwrapping the sandwich lifting up the bread to check the contents. Satisfied, he took a big bite making a yummy sound.

"He has a special ingredient." I said, walking over.

"This is great!"

I nodded taking a bite of the apple walking out. Grissom met me outside walking to the car. I yawned making him look over at me as I got in.

"Tired."

I nodded looking outside.

"Want to get something before going home?" He asked, as he turned on the engine.

"Sure." I said

He looked at me before going in reverse. We ate at the kitchen island then I went to the bedroom changing. Grissom came in as I climbed onto the bed collapsing on my stomach. He shook his head taking his coat off.

I felt him get into bed turning the light off. He slid over to me moving my hair kissing my neck.

"Did you eat at shift?"

"Yes." I said, muffled in the pillow.

"I mixed something different into the egg salad, did you taste it?"

"Yes."

"What was it?"

I groaned moving to my side.

"Gris, I am really tired." I said

"What was it?" He asked, rubbing my arm.

"I don't know!"

He stared at me in silence.

"I know you gave the sandwich to Greg." He said

"I wasn't hungry."

"You're going to get sick."

I sat up sighing as I looked at him in the dim light.

"I am not getting sick! I just didn't want that sandwich!"

"Okay." He said, moving to his side.

I sat there looking down for a few minutes then I laid back down. The next day, I came out of the bedroom dressed for work looking for Grissom. I found him in the kitchen making our evening meals. He looked at me before putting a sandwich in a baggy. I sighed walking over putting my arms around his middle from behind.

"I'm sorry." I said

He patted my hands.

"Me to."

"You are a wonderful, caring person and I realize you just want the best for me."

"I am obsessive at times, but I do want what is best for you."

I put my head on his back as he rubbed my hands.

We drove to work walking into work. I was called out on a solo scene at a nice house where it seemed to be a breaking and entering case. A blood trail led up the stairs as I went up the marble steps.

"Don't come any closer!" A man cried, on the second floor.

I froze shining flashlight over seeing a man with blood all over him wearing a vest with a bomb strapped to it.

I stared at him thinking about what to do.

"Okay, look I am not going to hurt you." I said

Brass ran up the stairs with some officers holding their guns.

"Keep away!" He cried

Brass and the men stopped near me looking at the man.

"My name is Sara, what is yours?"

"I didn't mean to kill anyone!"

"Okay, that's okay. Why don't we discuss it without the bomb?" I said, feeling myself shake.

The man looked at Brass then at me.

"It's to late." He said, backing up.

"No, it's not!" I said, coming up more.

"Stay away!" He shouted, backing up more.

"Listen to me, this is not how you want it to be!" I said "Blowing yourself up solves nothing! We understand you didn't mean to kill anyone. Please let us help you!"

"No!" He shouted "You can't help me, no one can!" He said, running into the room behind him slamming and locking the door. Brass and his men went up as I followed with my gun out.

"Let us in!" Brass ordered

Suddenly, a great explosion threw us all into the air. Everyone outside screamed ducking for cover as a fire ball erupted upstairs.

I became aware of someone nearby moaning in pain as sirens blared outside. Someone walked around talking. I felt a hand touching my neck.

"We have a live one!" A man called "She's hurt bad!"

Grissom parked getting out of his car running to the house. He saw Brass being wheeled out and some body bags. His heart thumped into his throat as he ran over to Brass.

"Jim, its Grissom!"

Brass raised his uninjured hand to him. Grissom took it looking at his friend.

"Jim, where is Sara?!"

"Inside."

Grissom let his hand go watching him being put into the ambulance. He then looked back seeing another gurney coming his way. He walked over seeing that it was me being taken. His breath halted as he looked at the bruising and cuts all over me.

"Are you a relative?" A woman asked him.

"Husband."

She nodded as they went to the other ambulance. Grissom gave his keys to an officer standing to the side.

"Drive the Tahoe back to the lab!" He called, seeing the cop nodding. Climbing inside he watched the woman paramedic working on me.

He took limp hand not able to keep from shaking.

"Let's go!" She shouted

The siren blared as they started to drive. I moved my head slowly to one side opening my eyes. Grissom felt relieved that I was awake, but that was short lived.

"We are losing her!" The woman shouted. The vehicle swerved onto the side and then stopped. Grissom felt the rush of air as the back doors opened as the other paramedic appeared.

"Sir, I need you to step out now!"

Grissom moved out not believing what was happening. The door shut as he stood outside looking at the lit windows hearing one of them shout clear. Closing his eyes he nearly broke down.

"Please don't leave me Sara." He said "Please."


	3. Chapter 3

Catherine ran through the hospital in search of one person. Her heart pounded as she worried about her two friends and the one that needed her right now. Grissom leaned against the wall across from the doors where I disappeared being worked on. He stared watching every person that came out.

"Gil!" Catherine called, running over. "I…got…caught in…traffic."

He nodded watching the door still.

"How is…Jim?!"

"He's being operated on right now. There was some internal bleeding."

She looked at him touching his arm.

"And…Sara?"

He looked down sadly.

"Please tell me that Sara is all right?" She said, her voice cracking.

Just then the doors opened and a doctor came out walking over to them.

"Are you Miss. Sidles husband?"

"Yes." Grissom said "How is she?!"

The doctor looked at Catherine then at him.

"I'm afraid she lapsed into a coma."

"Oh no!" Catherine said, putting her hand to her mouth.

"How bad is it?" Grissom asked, calmly.

"With her injuries and possible internal bleeding I would say not good right now, but we are doing everything we can."

Grissom nodded feeling numb.

"Can I see her?"

"In a little while." He said, before leaving.

Catherine felt tears go down her cheeks looking at Grissom. He watched the doors close again then he faced her.

"I'll be fine here if you want to go."

"I want to stay with you." She said

He nodded taking her hand. They sat in two chairs in the hallway glancing around then looking down in silence.

Later the door opened to the room I was in. Grissom walked in alone walking to the bed looking at me. I was almost translucent in the bed with little cuts on my face. Grissom walked closer touching my limp hand at my side. He listened to the heart monitor slowly beating.

"Hey Sara." He said "It's me."

He looked at me in pain as the ventilator covered my mouth. Slowly, he leaned over kissing my head. A single tear went down his cheek falling on the bed as he watched me. The next day Grissom walked into the room that Brass was in. The older man was laid out in a bed looking at him walk in.

"Hey." Grissom said

"Hey, how are you doing?"

"Not to good." Grissom said, sitting in a chair beside the bed.

"Catherine came to see me and told me. I'm sorry."

"Thanks. What did the doctors say about you?"

"Not much, except that I am going to live. Oh, and my blood pressure is high." Brass said, moving around on the bed.

Grissom smiled a little. Brass smiled as well as they sat in silence. Grissom looked down.

"Jim, what happens if she stays in a coma?"

"What did the doctors say?"

"They just said the prognosis is not good."

"Doctors never tell you anything positive. You just have to believe that she will make it."

Grissom nodded.

He went home an hour later exhausted. Lying in bed, he shook crying touching myside of the mattress. He felt his world explode in one second. Sleep finally over took him and he was dead to the world.

Many hours later his cell phone went off ringing beside his ear. He moved after the fifth ring reaching over getting it.

"Grissom." Catherine said

"What?"

"We need you at work."

"I'll be there."

He hung up the phone laying back sighing. His body felt heavy. He slowly got up hunched over as he rubbed his face.

He went to work, but his mind was on me in that hospital bed. After a few hours Grissom walked into the hospital coming into my room. He sat down taking my warm hand rubbing it as he watched me.

For weeks he would come to the hospital sitting beside the bed. A month went by as Catherine and Brass walked into Grissom's office seeing his friend pale and exhausted as he worked. He saw them and he sat back.

"What are you two doing?"

Catherine shut the door as Brass sat in a chair.

"We are performing an intervention." Catherine said, as she walked over to his desk leaning over it.

"When do you sleep, Gil?" Brass asked

"I have a job and a wife in the hospital!" He said

"You need to rest and eat! You are running on fumes!" Catherine said

Grissom sighed putting his head back closing his eyes.

"Go home, Gil." Brass said

Grissom went home looking around at the empty house. He went to the kitchen looking at the fridge. Then he shut it going to the living room laying on the couch. He slept on and off. It was early morning when the doorbell went off. Grissom came out of the bedroom yawning as he walked to the door. Opening it he saw Sophia Curtis with a covered dish in her hands.

"Sophia!" He said

"Hey, can I come in?" She asked, smiling some.

He opened the door allowing her in watching as she went straight to his kitchen unwrapping the dish placing it in the oven. She set the temperature then stood looking at him.

"I made you something that should be done in half an hour."

"What are you doing here?" He asked

"Brass called me. I'm sorry to hear about Sara."

He looked down nodding.

"Look, I didn't come to start anything….I just wanted to check on you."

"Thank you."

"Ecklie asked me to come and work with Catherine since she's down one person."

"That's great." He said

She nodded looking around the clean kitchen.

"Well, is there anything you need me to do?"

"No, the food is enough."

She nodded walking over to him giving him a hug. He put his head on hers looking down.

"She'll be okay." She said

"Every day she doesn't wake up…I lose hope." He said

"You can't give up for her."

He nodded letting her go. She touched his face watching a tear go down his cheek.

"Take care of yourself now." She said

"I will."

She nodded letting him go. He watched her leave then he looked at the oven. He came back to work hours later rested and fed. He worked on paperwork then he went to a meeting. As he came out walking with Catherine his phone rang. He stopped looking at the screen then he looked at Catherine alarmed.

"Who is it?!" Catherine asked

"Grissom!" Grissom said, looking at her as he listened. "She is!"

Catherine watched his face let go of the worry that he held. He closed his eyes breathing out.

"Yes, I will be there!" He said, hanging up.

"What is it?!" She asked

"Sara is awake….she is calling for me."

She hugged him as he did.

"I have to go see her."

"Go!" She said, pushing him away. He raced to his office locking it then he ran outside.

He arrived at the hospital coming to the room I was in. He took a breath before opening the door seeing the doctor standing by my bed as I looked over at Grissom.

The staff took the ventilator out and now I was laying back looking at my husband like it the first time. He walked over looking like he was going to cry.

"Sara." He said

He took my hand leaning over smoothing his cheek against mine.

"Mr. Grissom?" The doctor called

Grissom leaned back noticing the man standing on the other side.

"I'm sorry." He said

"It's all right. I need to tell you that your wife is going to be fine."

"Thank you."

The doctor walked out leaving us. I searched Grissom's eyes as he did the same. His hand touched my cheek as I closed my eyes feeling his lips on my head. For any hour we nuzzled each other and he told me everything that was going on. He watched me sleep and helped me to eat.

Finally, a week later I was allowed to go home. Grissom helped me inside even though I told him I was fine. He had me sit on the couch as he walked around then he stood watching me.

"Grissom, sit." I said, patting the couch.

He walked over sitting down slowly. I leaned forwards catching his lips. He pulled me closer almost on top of him. I moved back breathing faster as he did.

"I...think we should…take this slow." I said

"Your right." He said, rubbing my back. "I missed you."

"Catherine told me."

He sighed touching my hair.

"Why don't you take a nap?" I asked

"I'm fine."

"You look tired."

"Sara, I just want to be with you."

"Why don't we take a nap together?"

He thought about it finally nodding. I sat back on the couch laying down pulling him over. He settled in behind me putting his arm around my stomach. I wasn't tired so I just waited till he went to sleep then I slowly moved.

When he woke up I had made dinner and cleaned up. He walked into the bedroom seeing that I was about to do laundry.

"Wow, you cleaned this room up!" He said

"I wasn't tired." I said

"Honey, you're doing too much. I want you to rest." He said, touching my arm.

"I have done enough resting." I said

"Sara, the doctor said…"

"I know what he said, but I can only rest when everything is clean."

He smiled to himself.

"What?"

"I guess I missed your obsessive compulsive behavior."

I shook my head walking out with some the laundry in the basket. Soon, I was at a point where everything was clean and I could relax.

Catherine told me I could come back against Grissom's orders. He fumed when I told him, but he eventually conceded.

I worked in the lab my first night back on standby. I sat in the computer lab looking at cases I missed. Grissom peeked in seeing me as he held some files in his hands.

"Hey." He said

"Hey." I said, bored.

"What are you doing?" He asked, walking in.

"Just looking over cases." I said, sitting back.

He nodded setting his files down on the table before sitting beside me. I looked over at him as he looked at me. He took my hand bringing my hand up to his lips. I watched him kiss my fingers then look at me.

"I saw Sophia tonight." I said

"I know." He said

"Catherine wants to make her a permanent employee."

"Do you mind?"

"No, as long as she stays away from you." I said, causing him to smile.

"You really like me, don't you?"

"Enough to kill if I have to." I said, shrugging my shoulders. He laughed out loud as I smiled.

He looked at his watch then at me.

"I have to go to a meeting." He said, standing.

"See you later." I said

He nodded walking out. I sighed looking back at the screen.

Grissom slept sitting up in bed after we returned home. A book lay on his lap. I came out of the bathroom messing with my hair seeing him. I smiled walking over slowly thinking how handsome he is. Taking the book, I placed it beside the bed on the night stand before leaning over kissing his cheek. He never moved as he breathed deeply.

"Grissom?" I said, quietly.

When he still did not move I climbed over his legs taking his glasses off placing them on top of his book. I stared at him waiting for him to wake up, but he never did.

"Are you that tired?" I asked

Finally, I decided to lean over and kiss his lips. As I did this he sort of jerked awake causing me to move back.

"Hey." I said, smiling.

"What time is it?"

"About two a.m."

"Are you going to bed?" He asked, yawning.

"I was trying to wake you up?"

"What for?" He asked

"Always hiding under a book. You don't notice that your wife is trying to put the moves on you." I said, touching his shirt.

"Sara, I'm sorry. I suppose I don't catch them all."

"That's okay." I said, moving to lay onto myside. He turned off his light laying down beside me. We laid in silence for a few moments then I heard him move closer to me.

"I'll listen more." He said

I turned kissing him firmly on the mouth. He moaned pulling me closer kissing me back. I felt all the pain come out of him. Then I felt to love he had stored up.

The next day he stood at the doorway drinking coffee looking over at me sleeping naked in bed. I had the sheet up against me hiding my body. He never got bored looking at me. I moved a little stilling as I took a deep breath. I felt his side not feeling him. My head lifted up blinking looking around seeing him walking over dressed for work.

"I could sleep for two days." I said, sitting up pulling the sheet against me.

"You did work hard earlier." He said, smiling handing me his cup. I sipped it winching giving it back to him.

"Why do you like that brand of coffee?"

"You don't like it?" He asked, watching me get up wrapping the sheet around me.

"It's bitter!" I said

"Hmm." He said, standing following me to the bathroom.

I started the shower looking back at him as I stood.

"Can you close the door?" I asked

"I'm enjoying the view." He said

I sighed pushing him out before I closed the door.

As soon as we came to work. Grissom was called out on a scene. I watched him go to his office before going down the hallway. Catherine came into the breakroom a few hours later looking at me as I ate my sandwich at the counter. I stopped eating as she walked over looking concerned.

"Sara." She said

I dropped my sandwich looking at her. She looked at me sadly and I knew something happened.

"No….he's fine." I said

"He's missing."

"What?" I asked, shaking.

"We don't know what happened exactly, but Brass found his Tahoe parked along the road with his keys and cell phone on the ground. There was also some blood."

I put my hand to my mouth. Catherine hugged me feeling me sob. I paced in her office swiping tears as she talked to Brass on the phone at her desk. She hung up sighing as she sat back.

"Sara, why don't you go lie down?"

I stopped looking at her.

"I can't lie down!" I said

In my mind, I imagined that he was dead, or tied up in a room dying. I stayed at work waiting for some word. Hours went by as I stood watching. The others tried to get me to eat, but I said no.

"Cath, you have to do something about her." Brass said, as he walked to his office.

"What?" Catherine said, following.

"Sara, is not going to stop until she sees Gil. She needs sleep and food." He said, opening his door.

"You know how she is. Until you find him she will not do anything!" Catherine said "What do you have?"

"Blood on the ground, a cell phone, and keys." Brass said, rubbing his eyes.

"You have to have more! What about shoe marks?"

"None."

"Hair?"

"None."

"What are his odds?"

"The longer this strings out, not good."

Catherine sighed looking at him.

Catherine walked back to her office as Judy from the front desk came running to her.

"This was addressed to you!" She said, handing Catherine a small box.

"Thank you." Catherine said, looking at it. She went to Brass's office letting him have it. He slowly opened it looking inside. There was a letter with Grissom's identification badge.

Dear Catherine Willows,

I have Grissom and if you want to see him again, then I suggest you follow these instructions.

I want $10 million dollars in a blue bag. When you have the money you are to take it to a basketball court down the street. Bring it at two a.m. or I kill him.

Catherine looked at him as he looked at her.

"I'll call the sheriff." He said

"I'll see if I can get 10 million." She said, running out.

I sat in the breakroom looking at people walking in the hallway. My mind was a blur. Brass walked in seeing me. He sat on the coffee table taking my hand.

"Hey, how are you doing?"

"Not good." I said

He nodded.

"I came to tell you we got a letter requesting money for Gil's return. I called the sheriff and Catherine got the money. We are getting him back."

I nodded not really processing what he was saying. It was close to two when Brass parked across the street from the basketball court. I waited in the back shaking as I looked out. The place was deserted as Catherine drove up and walked over with a blue bag laying it by the basket then walking away.

"Okay, I dropped it." Catherine said, over the radio.

"I see it." Brass said

She drove off parking down the street. Brass watched the bag as I did for five minutes. A car drove up parking and a man climbed out looking around walking over to the bag. He looked around again then he reached down taking the bag.

"He's taking it!" Brass said, before getting out. The man looked over seeing Brass holding a gun with cops walking over with their guns. He backed up holding his hands as he dropped the bag.

"Put your hands up!" Brass shouted

"I didn't do anything!" He said

Police wrestled him to the ground as Brass went to the car opening it looking around. Brass sighed walking over grabbing the man putting the gun to his chest.

"Where is Grissom?!"

"I…I don't know!"

I ran over as Brass looked back.

"You know!" I shouted, trying to get at the guy. Catherine pulled me back as I screamed.

"Take him back to the station!" Brass said

The man was taken to a car as Brass sighed looking around as he took the bag looking over at Catherine holding me as I cried.

Catherine took me home coming in to sit with me on the couch. I said nothing as I looked down and she rubbed my back looking at me.

A knock at the door caused us to jump.

"Stay there." She said, as she got up.

Catherine opened the door seeing Brass.

"Come outside a minute." He said

She came out closing the door.

"What's up?"

"We grilled the guy. We know where Grissom is."

"So you're going after him?!"

"Yes, now. I am taking Nick and Warrick with me. Stay with Sara. I'll call."

"Okay."

He nodded before leaving. Catherine sighed watching him go then she came in seeing me standing looking at her.

"Who was it?"

"Oh, just Brass."

"What's happening?" I asked

"He was just seeing how you are."

"Oh." I said, looking down.

"Let's get something to eat."

"Nothing for me." I said, going to the bedroom closing the door. Catherine looked in pain at the door not knowing what to do. I slid down on the bed sliding my hand over the blankets feeling a pain deep inside of me. I put my face in the pillow crying.

Catherine went to sleep on the couch as I stayed in the bedroom. The next day the doorbell rang. Catherine rubbed her throbbing head as she held some coffee walking to the front door. Brass stood on the other side looking worn and tired.

"Did you get him?" She asked

Brass looked over as Grissom appeared. Catherine looked him over seeing a bandage on his head and a cast on his left arm.

"You're alive?!" She said, handing Brass her cup before hugging Grissom.

"Owe!" Grissom cried

Catherine stood back looking him over.

"Alive….but not healed." He said

"They wanted to keep him at the hospital, but he broke out to see Sara." Brass said

"She's inside." Catherine said

Grissom opened the front door freezing when he saw me walking out of the bedroom with my hair messed in a pair of his pajamas looking pale and thin.

"Catherine?" I called

He held his breath as I looked up seeing him.

"Hey Sara." He said

I didn't move as he came closer.

"I just got out of the hospital. Brass found me. I just have a cut on my head and a broken arm." He said "Say something."

I walked over slowly reaching out a shaking hand touching his clothes then his body looking him over. My hands went to his face.

"Honey, I'm okay." He said

Tears went down my cheeks as I hugged him crying against his neck. He held me with his free hand feeling me shake.

After that I would not let him out of my sight. He ate a sandwich I made as he sat on the couch and watched him.

"That was good." He said

"What happened to you?" I asked

"I'll tell you, but right now I need sleep." He said

"Okay." I said, watching him get up. He pulled me up leading me to the bedroom. I watched him sleep for hours forgetting my needs all together.

As expected, Grissom took a week off to recuperate. He gave a statement at the station then relaxed the rest of the time. I ate a piece of toast before work as Grissom walked into the kitchen getting a cup from the cabinet.

"Sara, you need to eat more than that." He said, getting a bottle of tea out of the fridge.

"I'm not really hungry." I said, throwing away a chunk of toast.

"You're not eating enough." He said, drinking from the glass in his hand.

I sighed glancing at him before leaving. He followed me to the front door as his phone rang. I kissed him then he answered rubbing my arm before opening the door letting me out.

Being apart from Grissom made me frightened. I texted him throughout my shift just wanting to see his reply. I came home later smelling food hearing him humming at his desk in the living room. He typed with one hand looking at the screen.

"How was shift?" He asked

"Okay." I said, walking over kissing his head.

I went into the change my clothes as he came in watching me.

"Ecklie called me." He said

"What about?" I asked, putting a shirt on.

"He wants me to take over his job." He said

I turned looking at him.

"A desk job?"

"It pays more and I can get things we need for the lab. I told him I would think about it."

I watched him go out to the living room. I came out going to the kitchen finding him stirring sauce on the stove.

"It's a day time job." I said

"Yes." He said, glancing at me.

"So, we would not see each other."

"Sara, I am not moving to another country. I will still see you."

I frowned leaning against the island.

"I don't want you to take it." I said

He turned the stove off walking over to me.

"Why?"

I looked at him in the eyes.

"Grissom, I am just being selfish. You deserve to it." I said, leaving. He watched me go then he looked down. I ate what I could then I went to bed.

The next day he was dressed in a suit with his arm still in a sling. I listened to him as he walked around on the phone.

"Yes, I would like to meet with you today." He said "Yes, we will discuss it when I come in."

He looked at me as he hung up.

"Ecklie." He said

I nodded. He pulled me over to him kissing me slowly. I moved back as he put his head against mine.

"I love you, Sara."

"I know."

"What's wrong?"

I lifted my head up looking at him.

"I don't know. I just feel like I'm losing you again."

"You are not losing me."

"Just promise me that you will try to make time for us."

"You know I will."

I nodded letting him go. He watched me walk away then he sighed. Grissom took the job and a month later he had his arm out of the sling safe and sound in his new office. I saw him less which upset me, but it was not as if I could with the heavy cases we had.

I came home to exhausted to move. Grissom was at his desk working when I dragged myself to the couch collapsing on to it.

"Hello dear." Grissom said

I lifted my arm sort of waving at him then I dropped it. He smiled a little typing then he got up taking his glasses off walking over leaning over me massaging my body.

"Grissom?" I said

"Yes."

"Will you just kill me?"

He chuckled rubbing my shoulders.

"You all have been working hard."

"This is where all the criminals come when it gets cold outside. I swear I read some results ten times." I said

"I'm sorry."

My phone rang causing me to groan covering my head. Grissom took it putting the phone to his ear.

"Sidle." He answered "Catherine, I think Sara needs to rest."

I groaned again.

Grissom stopped rubbing my shoulders as he listened.

"When did this happen?" He asked, listening. "She just got in."

I heard him sigh then he hung up the phone.

"Sara, you have to go out again."

"No!" I said

"I'm sorry, it's all hands on deck including me. There was a train derailment."

I felt him move then he walked to the bedroom. I just laid there pretending it was not happening. He shook me and we were off.

When we got there it was a huge mess. Day shift and night staff worked the scene with Grissom acting as a supervisor with Catherine and the dayshift supervisor. We took pictures collecting evidence.

Nick walked over to where I sat on the hillside looking down at some trees in a daze. He sat beside me taking in the air.

"We have not slept in three days at least." He said, before yawning.

I nodded.

"When this is over I am staying in bed for a week." He said

"A month." I said

"Good idea." He said

Catherine walked over with a clip board.

"Hey, you two need to take a thirty minute rest break."

"Thirty minutes?" Nick said, standing.

"Sorry." She said

"Well, I think I will use that for sleep." He said "Sara, you coming?"

I didn't move. He shrugged his shoulders walking away. Catherine knelt down to me taking my hand.

"Sara, why don't you take your break now?"

I looked over at her with dark blurry eyes.

"You can use it to sleep."

"Sleep?" I said

"Yeah."

I nodded standing with her help. She handed me her Tahoe keys and I walked slowly to the vehicle. I unlocked it slowly climbing in and laying down in the back seat not caring if the door was open or not.

Grissom walked over to Catherine later with his own clipboard.

"Where is Sara?" He asked

Catherine looked at her watch seeing it was one minute past thirty minutes.

"I told her to lay down. She is in my Tahoe."

"Okay." He walked over along the row of cars finding one with the door opened. He climbed in shutting the door looking at me. "Sara."

I didn't move as he shook me.

"It's time to wake up."

I moved my head a little stilling. His heart went out to me because he knew I had not slept in a long time.

"Honey, you have to wake up."

I opened my eyes slowly seeing him. He smoothed my hair gently.

"How are you feeling?" He asked

I sat up rubbing my head.

"I have a headache."

He touched my head then reached into his pocket taking out a candy bar.

"Eat this."

I took it as he sat beside me.

"Grissom, I don't know if I can do this."

"I know you're tired. We all are. It's just a few more hours."

I nodded feeling him rub my back. I ate some of the candy wishing I could sleep more. He helped me out and once again I worked.

An hour later Catherine came down to where Greg and I were working on some wreckage.

"Sara, I need you to help Warrick collect evidence along the track." She said

I looked at her angry.

"No!" I said "No, I am not doing anything more!"

She looked at me as if I had lost my mind. Greg stood looking at me then at Catherine.

"Sara, we are all tired, okay. The sooner we get this done the sooner we can all sleep."

"No, I am not doing anything! I have worked for five days without sleep! I am not collecting anything!"

"I want to talk to you up there, now!" Catherine said

I stayed still glaring at her.

"Now!"

"You better go." Greg said

I slowly climbed up the hill with her coming behind me.

"Sara, I really do understand, but we all have a job to do."

"I told you no!" I shouted

Grissom walked over slowly watching us.

"I don't have time for this! When this is over we will talk. Right now, go help Warrick!"

"I said no!"

"Sara!" Grissom called, as he walked over. "Catherine asked you to help."

I glared at him then at her.

"Go do what she wants you to do." He said

"I hate you both!" I said, walking past them.

Catherine watched me go as Grissom watched.

"She's starting to unravel." She said

"I know."

Grissom ran over pulling me gently to a quiet area behind a car.

"Sara, you are not being a team player."

"Why are you coming down on me? Catherine is the one who…."

"No, you are the one making trouble. I have to side with her."

I glared at him as he sighed.

"Can I go now?!" I asked

"Yes, go on." He said

I walked quickly away leaving him to watch me concerned.

Warrick and I collected evidence putting it in the back of one of the Tahoe's half an hour later. He closed the doors looking over at me as I held onto the vehicle door with one hand holding my head with the other.

"Sara, you okay?" He asked

I shook my head taking some deep breaths then I looked at him.

"You okay?" He asked, touching my arm.

"Yeah." I said

He watched me a minute then walked back to collect more evidence. I walked behind him holding onto another car.

"Last trip." He said, turning seeing I had fallen to the ground. "Sara?!"

He dropped the bags running over to me touching my neck. I moved weakly swatting his hand as I opened and shut my eyes.

"Just lay back!"

"We….have to…work." I said, trying to get up.

"Not right now!" He said "Hey, I need some help here!"

I tried again, but he pushed me down.

"Warrick?!" Catherine called, running over. "What happened?"

"I don't know, she just collapsed!" He said

Catherine put her hand under my head getting out a bottle of water.

"Sara, drink this."

I drank it then she laid my head back down. She checked me out getting out her phone. Grissom came over kneeling down my other side.

"We….work." I said

"Ssh." Grissom said

He smoothed my hair back as Catherine called for an ambulance. He pulled me against him and I closed my eyes laying my heavy head against him.

"They should be here soon." Catherine said

Grissom nodded looking down at me as I went limp against him. He helped the paramedics lift me onto the gurney then push me to the ambulance.

He climbed inside sitting down taking my hand in his. At the hospital he was informed that I was severely anemic and was suffering from complete exhaustion. He sat beside my bed rubbing my hand waiting for my eyes to open. He read from a book then he just watched me.

My hand moved in his then next evening causing him to wake from his doze and stand up. I moved my leg then my head slowly opening my eyes. Grissom leaned over kissing my head.

"Hospital." I said, weakly.

He kissed my cheek then moved back to look at me.

"You scared me."

He watched me close my eyes again sleeping. Sighing, he touched my cheek then he stood back stretching before sitting down again.

I was alone when I woke next. Looking over I saw the IV sticking in my arm. I took it out slowly winching as the needle slid out. It was difficult to sit up, but after a minute I was upright swinging my legs off the bed and sliding off. Once I stood the dizziness hit me hard. I shook my head clearing away the cobwebs before walking slowly to the door.

I looked down seeing I was wearing a blue hospital gown. The door opened as Grissom came in seeing me standing still looking at him.

"What are you doing?" He asked

"Going home." I said, with a shaky voice.

"You are to get back in that bed." He said, motioning to it."

"I'm fine." I said

He came over to me touching my arm.

"Sara, please."

I searched his eyes. He picked me up taking me to the bed. I let him go laying back watching him climb on sitting beside me. His arms went around me as he laid his head against mine. I closed my eyes listening to his heartbeat.

He drove me home a few days later. I walked into the living room falling onto the couch as he checked the mail. I watched him open a letter reading it.

"Grissom come over here." I said

He looked at me then back at the letter.

"Just a minute." He said

I sighed patiently waiting. He finished reading putting down the letter walking over sitting down at the end of the couch.

I scooted over touching his shirt.

"I meant over by me."

He looked down at my hand then at me. I leaned over kissing him. He laid me back on the couch as I pulled him over me. His hands went under me pulling me closer. His phone started to ring. He groaned as he stopped grabbing his phone. I kissed his cheek and neck as he looked at who it was calling. He put the phone to his ear.

"Grissom." He said

He turned his head kissing me as he listened to the person.

"Catherine, I will not be in. You take care of it then call me later."

He hung up kissing me again.

The phone went off again. He sighed putting it to his ear again. I sighed laying still watching him talk into the phone. He stood walking around.

When he hung up he looked at me putting his phone down on the desk.

"You have to go?" I asked

"Yes."

"Okay." I said

He looked annoyed as he went into the bedroom then he came out. I watched him leave then I looked at the ceiling.


End file.
